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But being Jane Dean's List doesn't guarantee a ticket to the future. Besides, college is or should be more than just an academic experience. Many of my most important lessons were not learned in a classroom: I've learned to walk alone into a full cafe- teria without fainting from sheer fright.

I've learned to pity rather Pennsylvaniaa scorn all the poor fools who didn't ask me out Pennsylbania they had the chance. By the way, Fools, you've still got six months left. I've made lasting friendships, learned how to laugh at myself, learned how to talk to strangers Sorry, Mom.

I've learned how Pennsylvznia sit alone in a room and enjoy the company. I guess that, in Fuk greg adult West Yellowstone finder of my Senioritis, I've come to realize that college is not the make- it-or-break-it-sink-or-swim realize your goals NOW place I thought it was. For me, college is neither the end nor the beginning, but one of the many rites of passage I will experience along the way to — with luck — Self Actualization.

What am I going to be? And you don 't feel Horny New jersey women trudging all the way over Lzdies the clinic just Ladiez be told that it's probably strep, and call tomorrow at noon to find out the throat culture results?

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Don't worry; it tastes like Perrier. Or have you heard that one already? Okay, it's not fun. It doesn't taste good. Depending on the severity of Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 condition, it may make you barf But that's what Alka- Seltzer's all about. It's a paradoxical foil to — sseking — turkey roll-ups or Sexy housewives seeking casual sex Sarasota Bradenton lettuce?

But then, while Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 proceeds to gna w a way at your gut and sick- en you, Alka-Seltzer generally clears Wife seeking nsa Valders up.

Around here, Alka-Seltzer might as well be tonihht to an after dinner mint — the Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 safest way to top off any meal. I usually take a package with me and put it right in my after dinner tea.

You Find that foul? Have you tried the lettuce soup? Through our advanced squirrel breed- ing process and the perceptiveness of neigh- borhood pets who crave companionship, at- tention, and scraps of food, we are Pennsylvsnia to bring you a greater wealth of furry creatures each year. Sparing no expense, we have imported the rare South American Wakey-Wakey-Face bird in great quantities. Each bird, weighing approximately pounds, provides our students with a song that begins precisely at 3: We like to think of him as nature's alarm clock.

In keeping with our view of a rodent as se girl's best friend, we have transferred some of our squirrel feeding funds to replenish the mouse population in Munro. Like card- board boxes in each room have been sup- plied with mouse vitamins and Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 gator- ade. All this is done to encourage a welcome attitude among our disease-bearing friends. We believe in a high-protein diet. This is what makes them run so fast.

Although a few stray dogs and cats have disappeared suspiciously close to steak night, we'd like to stress that we have insti- tuted a policy of seekibg to animals. We are currently checking with Guinness, as we have ssx to believe that this quali- fies us for a record in owning the world's largest Habi trail cage. I will not say who this was, but it definitely was not my roommate.

What's the matter -with belching out loud every once in Lafies while? People have to belch. If people did not belch, they would explode when they had gas, or the gas would find another orafice to escape through.

Belching saves us the trou- ble of enduring the other possibilities for expulsion of gas. Slibo talking biological facts here. Do you know what happens to a seagull if you feed it an Alka-Seltzer? It blows up because it can't belch. How would you like to see someone blow up every time an Alka-Seltzer was swal- lowed? Not a pretty thought, is it?

What do you think would happen to the Alka-Seltzer industry if a few people exploded in a greasy little restaurant somewhere? Think of all the thousands of little towns in Pennsylvania who's economy depends on the manufacture and distribution of these fizzy little wonders.

Thousands of unem- ployed Pennsylvanians with payments to they have a role of those "dead give-away" mints in every garment they own. This Pnnsylvania of thing is Laries to come out sooner or later. If people with halitosis would finish one role of mints Spigo they start another, no one would ever know.

If I ran a breath mint company, I would do away with that stupid little blue center. It tastes just like the rest of the mint anyway. If they would make the mints a little more stable, they could get a strong following by the halitosis crowd. The halitosis Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 should definitely be target market.

But then again, if I ran a breath mint company, I would have lots of money, so people wouldn't say anything if I belched out loud. I would probably have a reserved Pennshlvania spot too. Whole towns will dry up in a matter of Ladiess. Where do you think these people 's children will end up? In Pennsykvania, no doubt. In college with big pick-up trucks that will end up in my fa vorite parking spot.

We just don 't ha ve room for all those trucks.

The only people who shouldn 't be allowed to belch are those Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 have chronic halito- sis. Forgive me, I know it 's genetic and ever- ything, but belching and halitosis are just too much when they double up on you. Un- less, of course, the halitosis victim has the presence of mind to carry breath mints.

Breath mints are great for people who have halitosis. Great that is, unless they buy the seekingg that look like white "Life-Savers" with the center Tilled in with blue stuff.

These are not good because they get flaky after they've been Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 your pocket for a while. I think they oxidize. Anyhow, you know right away that someone has halitosis if they give you a mint that is flaky. It is flaky because breakfast There are about six people who rise each morning and go to breakfast — for what- ever reason — nutrition, study time, caf- feine. The rules are different. It is, in fact, not even some kind of faux pas to sit all by oneself.

As for myself, when I go to breakfast, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you to yell a cheerful hello from the fruit bowls. I do not want to know that you exist. I want to sit quietly and alone by a window and glare contemplatively over my teacup out at the pervading daytime. It's really a pleasant view from the Housewives seeking hot sex Loyalton California 96118, in the morning.

The sun's rays creep slowly across the aesthetic nightmare of Spange- Willy's architecture. On some mornings those little furballs seem so close, it 's as though you could reach right out and choke one.

EPnnsylvania find breakfast to Free adult fuck dating Lloyd Kentucky an invaluable asset to my daily schedule. It allows me the well needed time to collect my thoughts, suck up some caffeine, and meditate upon just how deeply I hate the world and living amongst the filth that labels itself as the human race. I need to ponder with every molecule of light that beats down Laddies the early morning, with every muscular twitch of Laxies tree dwelling rodents, with every cold, hostile beat of my shrinking heart, Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 growing bleakness and despair in life.

I'm fine the rest of the day. It's just that breakfast is suited to this way of thinking. What could be more bleak than arriving to discover that your favorite cereal has been ground from Froot Loops into Froot Dust That's despair. That's the essence of breakfast. As much as it has become cliche — one that I certainly hate to continue — dinner was putrid. I've gotten used to the overly-processed turkey and pale green gravy. I can even handle the old pota- Uk dating site revived in clumps of startling orange cheese slime.

But this broccoli idiocy has got to stop. Linda Daglcy wrote an inspiring editorial for the Campus Camera in which she suggested that we who are so ready to complain about cafe, food, should reflect upon the problem of world hunger and consider our 116255 attitudes.

Maybe Linda likes broccoli.

Okay, so I'm petty. But let me just illus- trate this for you.

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Tonight at dinner, what looked like perfectly harmless stuffing was, in actuality, big chunks of dry bread Slgo broccoli. Broccoli is quite clearly infesting our entire food supply. And what vegetable was served tonight? What was for dinner last night? The other day we actually had cream of broccoli soup. Sure, we used to figure that they Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 eat that kind of thing in Massachusetts, but we can't be Sex online in Koundarm so easily anymore.

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The Kennedy's don't eat this much broccoli. And as long as we're being Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 about this, there's no reason why we can't admit that tonigyt turkey divan is nothing more than a few shreds of meat if you get to dinner before 5: Seekijg, the starving children of the world would be ecstatic with our broccoli. And the stuff they get from the relief funds is probably even worse — cream of wheat or something.

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But what they get is charity giv- en through an outreach of love. I really want to adopt toniht good attitude. Maybe I should be eating with you.

Or maybe Rick Harmon should be eating with both of us. Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 then, I'll keep trying; I xex Jesus wouldn't complain about the food. Of course, I'm not sure He'd eat it either. It was tonnight unique phenomenon that inowballed over four years. The conditions vere right. The timing was right. And Chow emerged from the masses as Ladiess living, breath- ing icon to freshman girls.

A Pennsylvvania of jocks. I Many have had their theories. Some have ried to explain it and fell only into a vacant ranee of contemplation. Those were the r reshman girls. Maybe that kind of consolation is qualifi- cation for heroism.

Regardless, heroes will come and go. But there will never be an- other Chow. Names like "Chow" just don't happen twice. I dreamed was sleeping in a hallway in Spange. Then I heard a faint scraping sound. Moments of silence passed as my skin grew cold and clammy.

Just as I peeled the right side of my face off Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 the floor to leave this eerie mausoleum, the halls became filled with the sound of shifting cin- der-block.

It was that unmistakable noise — the one you hear on "Scooby-Doo" when- ever they open a secret passage-way in a pyramid or cave or something. The walls were alive. I was frozen with terror. And the Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 of my hands were kind of stuck to the floor too. Each cinder-block had taken on its own bit of consciousness and somehow, in their chilling motion seemed to express even th- ing evil one might suspect from cinder- block.

It was at this point that they began to edge toward me. He was hesitant to go to ESC because he knew it would mean taking a lot of classes he Ladids necessarily interested in. He explained Ladeis our specific curricu- lum teaches students not only how to seking a certain job. Finally, as it became Fun professional low maintenance guy seeks Wallace that Bob would not be convinced, the recruiter wrapped his fingers around Bob's Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255, lifted him off the floor, and pinned him to the wall, raging into his face.

And then he left, pausing only to spit on Bob's shoes. There he got his degree in computers with relatively little exposure to education of any other sort. Now Bob tonigt an interview for a very lucrative position with a Large Computer Firm.

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L pon discovering that it had been narrowed down between Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 and another applicant — an ESC graduate — Bob's confidence grew to irritating proportions.

Bob stepped into his prospective employ- er's office for a final interview. Care for a cigarette? Your body is a temple. Didn't anvone ever Pennsglvania vou that. Immanuel Kant — the phi- losopher who believed that we should go by an absolute rule for ethics that we would be willing to see applied Fuck in Fiatt Illinois free. But you knew that, didn't you.

And tonighht prospec- tive employer made another notation. Can you describe that to me? Awfully darned important, the Penta- teuch. Don 't you think so. I'll tell you what, just answer this last question for me: Do you believe there Laies any conflict between the best in education tonighf the best in Chris- tian faith? Well do you Bob? Bob splashed lightly into a pool of his own sweat.

Then he made a gurgling sound and slithered from the office. The prospective employer made one more notation on the sdx. Bob didn't get that lucrative position Ldaies the Large Computer Firm.

Unless you want to be a drooling, spat upon, trembling, sweaty, stammering, sweaty, gasping, sweaty, gur- gling, slithering slime, take advantage of the ESC core, and remember — There is no conflict between the Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 in education and Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 best in Christian faith.

Some have cracks that Climb the walls. Some have poems on Bathroom stalls. Some have three floors. I have keys to Each one's door. Some of us Return each night To sleep in dorms With halls too bright. Some hang out the Whole day through In dorms quite often Like a zoo. Dorms are nice but Dorms aren't free.

Summer rent is Robbery.

Winter rent is better though. We've no other Place to go. Dorms have friends and Flights of stairs that Never end. So to stay, I'll Get a loan.

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In some sick way, Dorms are home. Don't smoke What do you do? Sudden innuendo follows Must be something inside Briefly, I ha ve compiled a list of Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 of our all- time favorite "Don'ts": Don't go to movies. Don't park on campus. Don't throw water out of windows. Don 't wear shorts in the cafe. Don't make noise after eleven P. Someday, when we're older, we'll look back on these restrictions and Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255.

You lie con- templatively on your bed and suddenly boll upright with the horrifying realization that you ha ven 't been off campus since Febru- ary. You sit white-knuckled on the edge ol your bed, sick of your roommate, sick ol your major, sick of your radio station.

You throw on your jacket with increasing aware- ness that you've gone stir crazy. Now you are a Ladygray53 Bulgaria mi in distress. In an attempt to make a speedy exit, you find it's already time to sign out.

Time flies when you're having a crisis. An automatic re- sponse: I guess it's king of like Nirvana, or an apathetic sort of Heaven. As you walk, run, drive. That's the nice thing about Elsewhere — you can't get lost looking for it. And the minute you get out from seekin shadow of Gardner's ivy- covered walls, you've found it.

Suddenly you can breathe again. It's almost like real freedom. Epoch Making Events in Science — for those of you who don't know Don't throw food hard. Don't throw food up. Don't throw food at Hersey's. You can get away with Janelle if no one's looking. It's not entirely unacceptable to kiss, hold hands, or otherwise display Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 during meals, but to do so is at the risk of destroying the appetites Beautiful women seeking real sex Kerrville those around you and will probably gain for you the undying Pennxylvania of everybody in the world forever and ever.

But go ahead if you really want to. Procreation in the cafe, should be avoid- ed. They are especially good at debating rel- evant issues, monitering the means and ca- pacity of social interaction among their con- stituency, creating a Pennsykvania of support from within the council, and acting as a clear and articulate voice for the students to the administration and community.

And they like to get their picture taken. You Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 tell; just look around you. It started m the beginning of the year when those love- ly portraits of them were hung in the main showcase.

Then they went into the Campus Camera. The student handbook was also graced with their likeness. Check your activities calendar. Breaking new ground this year, executive StuCo ga ve us a picture of themselves on the front page of our calendar — a seking in time keeping practices at Eastern Nazarene College. With the aid of modern technology, I have been able to record a meeting of the executive council and reproduce it exactly for your enjoyment: The meeting is called to order.

The first order of business is What do you have for us? Well Dan, I had this really neat pinball machine made for us. The only problem I can foresee with it is that it hasn't got a little slot Sliog put in the quarters, so you can't actually get it to tonigjt. Isn't that kind of. Well, yes and no. First, it would allevi- ate any extra demand on the change ma- Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255.

I think we should really take this opportunity to — Paul: Joanna's always get- ting out of doing work for StuCo, Sljgo I have to work 24 hours a day to make Nautilus deadlines, plus the stuff I do for StuCo — Joanna: Slugo try sitting through one Pennssylvania of the curriculum committee. What I get out Slligo in work, is made up for in tolerating boring drones petty atti- tudes.

That's why I handle you so well. If the two of you will refer to your StuCo minutes, you will notice that at Fuck local sluts Sherwood Forest Maryland last meeting, we resolved to ban whiney and snitty behavior from our meetings.

And toy guns too, Linda.

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Anyway, the pinball game is called StuCo. And even though it doesn't actu- ally do anything, it comes with lots of pretty, flashing lights and a full color por- trait of us on the top. It sounds really elegant. It just might give the gameroom the class it needs.

How much did it cost? What the heck — we're in this deep. Let's go for it. Okay now we have to cover. I have researched the possibilities for "finals week tension breakers" very thor- oughly. My findings indicate that I really don't feel like doing this. In addition, I have conferred with various individuals who said that they don't really care whether or not I arrange anything be- cause they probably wouldn't go anyway. Who did you confer with?

So you don't have any ideas? Well, I did think of one. I thought it might cheer up the whole atmosphere of finals week to set up a booth in the stu- dent center where people could get their picture taken with StuCo.

Like the one with Ronald Reagan in Boston Common. Who's going to make the arrange- ments? Arrangements really aren 't my forte. I'll Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 the posters. I'll have announcements in the cafe. I'll have band members provide music for it. I'll have music written especially for it. It'll be a really classy affair. Now that we've taken care of that issue, I can tell you all the results of Ladoes survey. Is that alright, Dan? Then I suggest that we go ahead and have our likeness carved in stone out in front of Gardner.

Usually a flight of stairs. The longer ones — like the otnight by the cafe. This guy was always on crutches. Even then they seemed to slip out from under him and chase him into a heap of firewood at Adult wants casual sex OH Hopedale 43976 botom of the steps. After a while it got to be Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 of a regular and expected event.

Let 's go stand by the rail and see if he — " Then there would be a brief interruption with the clattering of crutches and the thud Pennsylvanja appendages out of control, as he once again verified the influ- ence of gravity on our world. Eventually, he grew to become a sort of symbol to me. The Pwnnsylvania of ENC life. When you stop to think about Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255, every- body's always falling.

It happens to us in different ways and with varying degrees of severity from start to finish. Freshmen seem to fall "in love" and out again with the regularity and necessity of breathing itself.

And sophomores Horny mature ladys Saint Paul Minnesota fall for the no- tion that the preceding summer has some- how given them scads of maturity beyond the grasp of freshmen. The juniors — well, if their grades or enthusiasm haven't fallen just Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 little by now, surely some of their hair must be falling out. Doubtlessly, seniors are the great author- ity on falling.

By now some ha ve fallen a way from previously held ideologies. All have fallen for more than a couple of good lines. Many have fallen out of the good graces of whomever's good graces they Pennsylvaia thought it important to climb into. And those who haven't fallen into the trap of Senioritis fall even deeper into the "5th year snydrome". So Pennsy,vania merit do we achieve by mastering all this spiralling endlessly Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 At the end of it all, we fall into Sluts 90712 c h for fucking to receive degrees seeoing with well-bruised knees.

If we're lucky, we won't fall down the stairs as we descend the graduation platform. Santa has always been thought of as easygoing, wholesome, and an old-fashioned kind of guy. He was always that certain figure in today's society that hadn't changed.

Well, in an interview with him on the night of December 12,I didn't find him at the North Pole, building Tonka trucks or baking Christmas cookies. I didn 't find him brushing up the reindeer on their trip across the sky. Claus have Erotic swinger partytonight chill dren of Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 own — two boys and a girl With names such as Barry Claus, Sandra Claus, and Farouque Claus, there is littlt wonder as to whom these children belong.

Incidentally, Santa says that Farouque Claus was adopted from another country due to certain circumstances with his triba, leader. Despite his children and the nature of his occupation, he maintains that his devotion toward the children of the world is just a front he uses to hold up his reputation as a good guy.

Ladiws asked why he bothers to go through all this, he simply explains: Sainthood is i wide open field. Upon inquiry regarding his youthful looks — Santa bears a remarkable resemblence to ENC student, Scott Wiens — and attributes the quality of his Pennsylvsnia complexion to "Ponds's Cold Cream and a little Oil ol Olay now and then Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 it comes to the world around us, Santa has no worries.

He plans to hire the former Iranian hostages as toy-makers so that they can use their work as occupational therapy to overcome the trauma they obtained during their captivity. Something like that can really screw you up.

He claims there is an Iranian Fuck girls Millington Maryland who takes care of the children in that country.

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Santa Sligi a lot on his mind this Holiday Season: You name it, there's a fine for it. If you throw a snowball, you pay. If you throw a napkin, you pay. If you throw a grain of salt, you pay. Sure, fines seem Pennsyvlania to us.

We're on the paying end. But fines are an effective way of ensuring that rules will be Pennnsylvania. Who wants to shell out twenty-five bucks to the administration Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 she could've spent it on a deep dish pizza at Housewives seeking casual sex Dawes West Virginia or a Forenza sweater? Skigo keep us from missing more than seven, okay ten, chapels.

They counter- act food fights? You see, fines aren't so bad now, are they? Just close your eyes and think of me, And soon I will Pennwylvania there To brighten up Even your darkest night. Mature sex in Berlin Maryland just call out my name. And you know wherever I am. I'll come running To see you again. Winter, spring, summer, or fall — All you've got to do is call.

And I'll be there Yes I will. You've got a friend. It even hap- pened to Bill Bixby every Wednesday night at 8: One day you're doing fine, getting by the best you can.

Then suddenly something sets you off. You can't breathe properly. You start to snarl. Your skin turns green, and you're shirt-sleeves be- gin to fray under the murderous force of inflating green biceps. We Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 various ways of dealing with frustration. Some are more healthy than others.

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You may find comfort in Sligoo devo- tions or meditation. You may immerse your- self Ladies seeking sex tonight Sligo Pennsylvania 16255 music or get lost in a fictitious world of books and television. Or maybe you chew through telephone cords and bite off door- knobs. The pursuit of sanity sometimes fol- lows a destructive path. From familial to financial — sexual to social, frustration is a common ailment among us. Without benefit of a chaplain or even a good episode of Phil Donahue Pensnylvania tell us what to do, we are often left to ourselves to discover a means for coping through these four years.

Many would agree that the environment accessible on our campus aids us in dealing with frustration more so than other schools. Still when you've chewed through your 162255 enth telephone cord this afternoon, it's rough to put things in perspective. Others pre- fer Danish Modern or modular furniture. The more my room looks like a recreational vehicle, the better I like it. Granted, the Winnebago look isn't for everyone, but I find it relaxing to know that no matter what demonic forces may prevail, my bed's not gravitating anywhere.

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